Sweden

Bring up the rear of Group D it's the porn loving Swedes with their revolutionary new Ikea inspired defensive unit, the flat-pack four.

Sweden

Official coach slogan - Sweden's dream = what a team!

Unofficial coach slogan - Sweden's dream = a sauna + a smorgasbord of blonde beauties.

Coached by master tactician, Lars Lagerback, Sweden have qualified for their 5th successive tournament and having been drawn in a relatively easy group will be expecting to at least make it to the quarter-finals.

The Swedes will be stereotypically well-organised and difficult to break down (which should make their opening match against Greece a EURO classic) whilst creatively they will be relying on the mercurial talents of overrated big game bottler, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and aging goalscorer, Henrik Larrson, who has been persuaded out of retirement for, surely, his last hurrah.

In midfield they will look to the now creaky (and injury prone) underpants model, Freddie Ljungberg, with speedy winger, Christian Wilhelmsson of Deportivo La Coruna, hopefully providing some much needed pace.

TC's predicition - To narrowly miss out on 2nd place and qualification for the latter stages to the Russians.

Player who most sounds like a magical incantation by the Great Suprendo - Ex-Arsenal reserve keeper, Rami Shaaban.