Poland

Lastly in Group B we have the Poles, the team that, along with the Austrians probably have the lowest expectations of anyone despite finishing top of their qualifying group ahead of the much fancied (especially by themselves) Portugeezers (it will catch on, believe me).

Poland

Official coach slogan - Because only sport and good fun counts!

Unofficial coach slogan - Rula Lenska is our flame haired inspiration.

Under the veteran Dutch coach Leo Beenhakker, 87, Polish football has undergone a bit of a renaissance, especially as despite their relative success in World Cups (albeit mostly in the seventies and eighties), this is their first time at a European Championships Finals. 

Hailed as a genius for his achievements, 'King' Leo was recently voted 'Polish Man of the Year' narrowly pipping Mr Sheen to the title, and a lot rests on his ability to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear if the Poles are to write their names in the history books (certainly, given the complexity of most of them, no-one else is going to write them).

Despite lacking in virtually all areas, the Poles do have strength in depth between the sticks, continuing the fine tradition of ace Polish keepers which includes wobbly legged, Bruce Grobbelaar impersonator and Champions League winner, Jerzy Dudek, bane of England in 1973 and part-time children's entertainer, Jan Tomaszewski and also Karol Josef Wojtyla, aka dead Pope John Paul Ringo George II. Unfortunately FIFA's ruling that allows only one man between the sticks means that Beenhakker will probably go with Celtic's number 1, Artur Boruc, leaving the Manchester United and Arsenal number 2's, Tomas Kuszczak and Lucasz Fabianski, on the bench.

TC's prediction - They may scrape a draw in the opening match against the Germans and get a result versus Austria meaning that they finish a creditable 3rd in the group.

Player who most sounds like a former "Pop Idol" contestant's rubbish automobile - Versatile defender, Dariusz Dudka.