France

Official coach slogan - Live together, celebrate together
Unofficial coach slogan - Franck Ribery, the unacceptable face of football!
Under hugely unpopular, astrologically obsessed loon (Everybody Loves) Raymond Domenech, the French are expected to be one of the front runners at this year's tournament after surprisingly getting to the final of the last World Cup. However with sagittarian hating Domenech (he supposedly picks players according to their starsign) at the helm, the aging French squad may find this a Championship too far, especially as they struggled to qualify from their group (losing home AND away to the Scots FFS!) and being paired with their conquerors of 2006, the Italians once again.
This time out they are missing World Cup 2006 inspiration and in no way brother of a prostitute, Zinedine "Stitch this pal" Zidane, so will be relying on Bayern München's pretty boy, Kaiser Franck Ribery, to pull the strings and supply whichever traditionally Gallic sulker or sulkers that Domenech elects to play upfront (it may come down to a shrug off between big game bottlers, Thierry Henry and Nicolas Anelka, with 2000 Golden Goal scorer David Trezeuget surprisingly left out of the squad despite scoring 21 goals in the Italian league this season...against Italian defenders...in a Group containing World Champions Italy...go figure).
TC's prediction - I expect France to have a bit of a nightmare, à la World Cup 2002, and predict them to finish bottom of the GROUP OF DEATH after being surprisingly beaten by the Romulans in their opening game.
Player who most sounds like the spamcatcher avoiding pseudonym for e-mails advertising counterfeit Viagra - Experienced right-back, Willy Sagnol.
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