Austria

Welcome to the first of my previews for Group B (aka 'The Group of Fairly Severe Contusions') containing the second of the joint hosts, Austria, along with conquerors of England, Croatia, the ever dangerous Germany and first time Euro qualifiers, Poland.

Austria

Official coach slogan - Only together we can win...!

Unofficial coach slogan - The hills are alive with the sound of losing.

With a nation less than fully behind them (in a recent survey the majority of the population voted for the team to be withdrawn from the tournament) expectations are not so much low as subterranean for the progress of an Austrian team currently floundering at 101st in the FIFA world rankings (below such notable footballing luminaries as Cyprus, Equatorial Guinea and New Zealand).

Their lowly ranking, coupled with a mediocre and relatively unexperienced squad, means that two time coach, Josef Hickersberger, who was sacked first time around for losing 1-0 to the Faroe Isles during the qualifiers for EURO '92, really does have his work cut out and finishing anywhere other than bottom of the group will be seen as success.

Arguably their 'star' player is Emaneul Pogatetz, who plays for Middlesbrough, which pretty much says all you need to say about the Austrian team, although youthful captain , Andreas Ivanschitz, despite the lavatorial surname, is nicknamed "The Austrian Beckham" (although "The Beckham of the Alps" would be better) presumably because he has a stick thin, talentless wife.

TC's prediction - Like Elizabeth Fritzl, Austria will spend most of the tournament locked in the cellar of Group B.

Player who most sounds like a Joe Pesci outburst at a Church service gone wrong - Left midfielder and ace goatee wearer, Christian Fuchs.